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59 min Soucek shoves Guimaraes over then, as he lays prone, boots him to the body a couple of times. The Newcastle captain loves this every bit as much as you’d expect, bouncing back up for ruckus, and the players are split up before the ref books the West Ham man – who does well to avoid a sending-off. That was, for mine, a much more serious offence than a ponytail-fondle.
57 min Immediately, Newcastle move upfield, Hermansen parrying from Barnes then, when they sustain the attack, Guimaraes curls from 25 yards, just over the bar.
56 min It’s West Ham dominating possession, Newcastle sitting deep, Fernandes playing into Soucek and following the ball, taking the return lay-back and shooting, but straight at and at a decent height for Pope.
54 min I really like Tonali as a player – the combination of engine and passing is actually quite rare. I’m not sure he’d work at Arsenal, but if Declan Rice is back to being a six, he’d be a really useful eight, and good for the squad in any event.
53 min And there it is, Tonali off, Willock on. Will he play at SJP again? My sense is not, because there’ll be a club able to pay the asking price, while Newcastle need a few sales to strengthen.
52 min Before we can resume, Tonali goes down with cramp and, opn the bench, Willock prepares to come on.
52 min Fernandes carries and finds Diouf, who crosses well to the back post, where Wilson, looking to bag against his former club, opts to take the ball down … allowing Botman to intercede.
49 min “I think Anthony Gordon is an oustanding footballer and a huge loss for us, regardless of perceived/genuine attitude issues,” returns Chris Paraskevas. “A lot of the tactical work he does off the ball can go unnoticed, and he is genuinely lethal in front of goal when in the mood (albeit, via penalties often, which we shouldn’t scoff at).
He’s a unique player and personality. Definitely not Bayern Munich quality but he’ll settle quickly in the Farmersliga and go on to be world class, most likely.
That’s not to say Newcastle fans are sad to see him go at all: there’s a bit of a hard edge/cynicism to us after the summer saga with The Other Bloke.
However, contrast the shrug of shoulders for Gordon with the love-in for Trippier, who has displayed a consistent attitude and determination during good times and bad. Says it all about their legacies at this club.”
I like Gordon – you could see he had something when he broke through at Everton – and I’d never seriously criticise a footballer for thinking themselves better than they are, because it’s an almost essential part of their armoury (and find me a writer of whom that isn’t so). But I don’t especially fancy him in a possession side – he looks to me like a useful weapon in a counter-attacking team , and a nasty sub against tired legs.
48 min West Ham totally have the ability to get back into this – if they score next, you’d almost fancy them. But can they keep the back door shut?
46 min I missed this at the time, typing, but Osula celebrated his goal with a sparkly glove and Michael Jackson-style dance. Seriously.
46 min We go again…
Half-time email: “It seems to me that Nuno doesn’t have to turn on the hairdryer,” writes Kári Tulinius. “All he needs to do is remind them if they manage to avoid relegation at 2-0 down with a game and half left of the season, they’ll be legends.”
The most softly-spoken man around might not even be capable of a hairdryer. I think it’s unlikely, anyroad up, though, because his team played OK in the last 15 minutes of the half, so his job is to help them work out a tactical route back into things.
Half-time entertainment:
The Guardian has kicked off a new chapter in puzzles with the launch of its first daily football game, On the ball. It is now live in the app for both iOS and Android … so what are you waiting for?
HALF-TIME: Newcastle United 2-0 West Ham United
Eddie Howe’s men are well worth their advantage, but don’t rule West Ham out quite yet.
45+3 min West Ham have looked better since changing formation – the ball is sticking more up front and they’re not any more porous at the back. I’d expect them to score, but I’d not be at all surprised if they conceded again,
45+1 min “That’s that then,” reckons Dave Estherby. “No doubt Spurs fans watching this will be celebrating but the Tottenham board would do well to consider that avoiding relegation by finishing 17th two seasons in a row, when two of the teams that did go down in those years were a) Wolves and b) Russell Martin’s comically incompetent Southampton, is abject to say the very least. I’d love to know what’s in De Zerbi’s contract.”
What we’ve seen of De Zerbi so far, I’d expect a significant improvement next season. I imagine the contract says pretty much what he wanted it to, because desperation stinks.
45 min There’s a decent tempo to this game now, but West Ham badly need a livener We’ll have three additional minutes.
44 min And he tries one here when Wilson finds him, crossing into the corridor but way too powerfully for whatever he was hoping to achieve.
42 min What do we think about El-Hadji Diouf, then? First time I saw him play, I was extremely impressed, but now I’m wondering if he’s an average footballer with an incredibly athletic profile and a blinding cross.
41 min West Ham win a free-kick 40 yards out, left of centre, which Diouf hammers over the by-line.
40 min What level of player do we think Anthony Gordon is? I think he’s decent, but he’d be doing very well to get to Bayern, I’d say – they need more, much more, than the occasional open-play goal and some useful penalty-taking.
39 min Newcastle win a corner that yields another, Mavrapanos heading away. West Ham look like they’ve a goal or two in them, but they also look liable to concede another couple.
37 min “The sound and fury of an Argentinian and a Brazilian cursing each other in their related-but-distinctly-different tongues about a footballing disagreement is something to behold,” reckons Peter Oh. “Castellanos v Guimarães is the latest installment. I wonder if we might be treated to a World Cup version this summer.”
That’d be nice. You can’t beat some behaviour that no one wants to see that in fact everyone wants to see.
36 min A ball over the top from Guomaraes and Osula steals away from Mavrapanos, leaping to collect … and misses it entirely. West Ham look like they could score, but if they defend like that they’re not yet done conceding.
34 min This is now a game of football, Bowen playing into Wilson, who lays back for Summerville, who looks to thread through to meet Bowen’s run. Someone, Thiaw I think, intercepts, but West Ham appear to have decided they should probably start competing.
32 min West Ham have roused themselves, Summerville swinging over a terrific cross to the far post, which Wilson can’t quite get at, perhaps taking his eye off it. perhaps assuming the defenders will clear.
30 min But here comes West Ham, their most coherent attack so far, Fernandes finding Sumerville down the left, whose cut-back arrives into the stride of the advancing Castellanos, who leaps, shoots … and sees Pope palm away, then Diouf clobbers the loose ball and the keeper saves a second time.
29 min I said I was excited to see Fernandes, but he’s barely had a kick. Newcastle on the other hand, have been all over West Ham like a cheap rash.
27 min Castellanos leaves one on Guimaraes, and the ref gives him a going-over, then Trippier adds his thoughts and we get back under way, no booking.
26 min And here comes the change, a ruefully-smiling Todibo replaced, meaning no more three at the back, with Castellanos moving alongside Wilson in a 4-4-2.
25 min Nuno can’t tolerate any more of this, so has Castellanos getting ready with Todibo about to be hooked.
24 min But Newcastle then ooze forward once more, easily picking up spaces between men and lines to win a corner. It goes short, then Tonali curls into Hermansen’s midriff.
23 min Better from West Ham, Bowen moving down the right and cutting back for Fernandes, whose thumping shot is blocked at source.
21 min You never know, but this match feels over already.
LOVELY GOAL! Newcastle United 2-0 West Ham United (Osula 19)
Having shoved West Ham through the trapdoor, Newcastle stomp on the fingers with which they’re holding on. This is a glorious move, Tripper, Barnes, Guimaraes and Ramsey combining with delicious one-touch stuff, to send Osula marching through the middle, and his finish, punched side-footed, is emphatic, the goal as welcome in N17 as in NE1.
19 min Osula looks to poke a bouncing ball through for Barnes, but it runs away form him – just.
16 min Newcastle fancy this now and, from a West Ham perspective, that goal was way too easily taken.
GOAL! Newcastle United 1-0 West Ham United (Woltemade 14)
A careless pass from Hermansen is intercepted by Barnes, out on the right. He advances, Fernandes doing nowt to close him down, crosses, and Woltemade turns it with the flight of the ball and inside the far post. Trouble for Nuno’s boys.
