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Late-night hosts spoke about Donald Trump’s recent Michigan visit and his attendance at Lindsey Graham’s funeral.
Jordan Klepper
On The Daily Show, Jordan Klepper took viewers through Trump’s recent visit to the General Motors facility in Michigan, showing footage of him walking past cars and knocking on one of them.
“Knocking on the car hood is probably the most normal thing he’s ever done,” Klepper said, comparing it to standard dad behaviour.
When Trump last visited Michigan in January, a heckler called him a “pedophile protector” during his visit and once again, during a speech, he was called the same thing.
“Show some respect for the office,” he said. “That’s President Pedophile Protector.”
He continued: “Why does this keep happening? Is it the same guy? Is it something in the water? Is it because Trump withheld millions of Epstein files and no one has been held accountable for it? We’ll never know!”
Trump responded by calling the heckler a communist with Klepper said is the “opposite of pedophile” joking that “we all remember Karl Marx hosting To Catch a Predator”.
Klepper also said to the heckler directly: “Don’t shout crazy shit at him, he was elected to shout crazy shit at us.”
This week also saw the opening of a new trade route from Michigan to Ontario clouded in controversy after Trump imposed a 50% tariff on Canada which led to a joint ribbon-cutting ceremony being cancelled.
Klepper said it was “so heartbreaking to see mum and dad fighting like this” but said that Trump was “beefing with the entire rest of the world” as well.
The president was “losing his war on drugs” after it was revealed that a long-term boat-targeted operation has not reduced the amount or purity of cocaine and has instead encouraged drug lords to find new ways to smuggle goods in.
Klepper said that the “same people who found a way to sneak in a powder using your butt” are “pretty good at problem-solving”.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about Trump’s speech at Graham’s funeral which he said would have the president claiming the late senator would want to point out the “2020 election had massive voting irregularities and Trump barely knew Jeffrey Epstein”.
This week has also seen a report showing that the beleaguered Taylor Farms tried to delay an FDA recall announcement after it was alleged the recent explosive diarrhea outbreak originated there.
“If I understand correctly, cyclospora makes it very hard to delay anything,” he joked.
The American Museum of National History has also started to display a replica of the New York Knicks championship trophy, leading Meyers to quip: “You can also see a Mets trophy at Ripley’s Believe It or Not.”
Kids in New Jersey recently fell ill after eating chocolate laced with mushrooms, which had Meyers saying that it was also “the day they all learned how to make a campfire with their minds”.
Canada has been issuing warnings that people need to stop dumping goldfish, which had Meyers joking that things are going well if “their biggest problem is loose goldfish”.
Starbucks has also entered into a new deal with Delta Air Lines, which plans to reward members with one sky mile for every dollar spent.
“Do you know how much coffee you’d have to drink to get a free trip?” he said. “You wouldn’t need a plane.”
