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Late-night hosts discussed Donald Trump’s “childish” behavior at the G7 summit, his reportedly catastrophic peace deal with Iran and a blunder over Middle East geography.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host remarked on Trump “throwing his weight around” at the current G7 summit in France, showing up 45 minutes late to a meeting with world leaders and introducing himself by saying: “Hello, I’m the boss.”
“They must hate him so much, right?” said Kimmel. “Can you imagine the conversations that go on behind his back.
“Trump’s behavior at the G7 is increasingly childish each time he goes,” the host continued. “These other foreign leaders, I feel sorry for them, dealing with him. It’s like opening up a can of soda that got shaken up: you know it’s gonna spray, but all you can really do is aim it away from your face.”
Kimmel then turned to Republicans calling Trump’s Iran deal “a tremendous foreign policy blunder”, giving Tehran the power to shut down the strait of Hormuz “any time they want”.
“Dagnabbit, we got Hormuzled!” he laughed.
At the G7 summit the president called it a “very strong deal … nobody knows what it is, but it’s very strong”.
“That’s how you describe the smell of a dead person before you find the body,” Kimmel laughed.
“Just to recap: we killed the ayatollah and replaced him with a younger, more radical ayatollah. We did nothing for the protesters in Iran,” the host continued.
“We used up who knows how many billions of dollars on bombs and missiles. Many American and civilian lives were lost. We gave Iran full control of the strait of Hormuz and we threw in a minimum of $300bn, ’cause why not?
“Right now, Melania’s wondering, ‘How do I get a deal like that?’
“It just goes to show you: there’s no problem that Trump can’t make worse,” Kimmel said.
“The one area in which the war’s been a rousing success is it did take our attention away from the Trump-Epstein files,” he deadpanned. “But don’t worry, the second it is really over, we will get right back into that.”
Seth Meyers
Over on NBC, Seth Meyers’ Late Night monologue focused on Trump’s Wednesday press conference where he told the media that “war is a nasty place. I see it. I see it maybe better than anyone has seen it.”
“I don’t know …” responded Meyers. “There’s maybe a couple of people who’ve seen it better. Off the top of my head: soldiers.
“When they say they’ve seen war they don’t mean in 4K,” he joked.
On Monday, Trump told reporters that the Iran peace deal “should” open up the strait of Hormuz entirely. “It should?” asked Meyers incredulously. “I know you haven’t released the deal, but have you also not read it? It’s one page long. Are you waiting for the audiobook?”
In a meeting with the emir of Qatar on Tuesday, the president erroneously said that he could walk across the border between Iran and Qatar (the countries are separated by the water of the Persian Gulf). “Oh no, he thinks he’s Jesus again,” groaned Meyers, flashing up one of Trump’s AI-generated images portraying himself as a God-like figure.
Meanwhile, Trump’s renovations to the Lincoln memorial reflecting pool have resulted in the water’s surface being covered by algae just days after reopening. “Yikes, I thought Trump had dementia, but now I think it might be malaria,” Meyers said.
“Move over strait of Hormuz, we got bigger water problems right now!” he said. “This looks like the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, brought to you by Mountain Dew.”
In other news, a Texas woman has filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s for selling her a sausage McMuffin that she describes as “wholly unfit for human consumption”.
“Well, yeah …” said Meyers. “It says that right on the sticker.”
