4 hours ago
6
Name: Posh eggs.
Age: Best before three weeks from now.
Appearance: Multicoloured, oddly sized, often with bits of feather stuck to them.
What’s this got to do with the price of eggs? Everything: thanks to increased feed prices, higher energy costs and bird flu restrictions, eggs are expensive these days.
Tell me about it. I paid £3 for a dozen the other day. That’s nothing. In a lot of places you’d be lucky to get half as many eggs for that price.
Three quid for 6 eggs? And the rest. Free-range and organic eggs often start off at about £3.50.
Insane. Then come eggs from particular breeds – Burford Browns, Old Cotswold Legbar, Longstock Gold – (posh eggs, if you like), which can cost as much as £4 for six.
I’m buying the eggs, not the chicken. But these eggs come with coloured shells: blue, white, green …
Green eggs? Really? Yes – laid by Seabright Sage chickens. Posh eggs can also come with deep orange yolks or an impeccable provenance. For these attributes, expect to pay £4.50 or more.
Anything above that? Above that are chocolate eggs, and then Fabergé.
How is it that in these dark times people are willing to pay such high prices for green eggs? Sometimes they’re not.
Aren’t they? No – instead they’re swapping the posh eggs into cartons of ordinary eggs, and paying ordinary prices.
That’s so clever. It’s stealing.
Yeah, but really, it’s a victimless crime. No it isn’t, because it means someone else gets ordinary eggs in a premium carton, and therefore pays a premium price.
I’ve searched my soul, and I’m not sure I feel sorry for those people. But they’ve been duped. Don’t you get it? They’re having to go home to their kitchen extensions and eat regular eggs!
Is there a big difference? Now you mention it, no. The shells are pretty, but you don’t eat the shells.
What about those deep-hued yolks? The orange colour is generally achieved by adding marigold and paprika to the chicken feed. Nutritionally, the difference between a regular egg and a posh egg is negligible (although higher prices may also mean happier hens).
So arguably the thieves and the victims are both being fooled? Exactly – absolutely everyone is wasting their time in this scenario.
In actual fact, the carton is the most important commodity here. Yes – just keep one at home and hide your cheap eggs in it.
Do say: “As sure as eggs is eggs, eggs is eggs.”
Don’t say: “Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?”
