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The first song I remember hearing
My mum was a massive Beatles fan. I remember, pretty much every day after school from the age of five, coming home and putting on Eleanor Rigby, because I loved the storytelling. The idea of a face that you keep in a jar by the door haunted me, and “all the lonely people” was just too much.
The first single I bought
I got 2p a week pocket money – it was in the 70s. My older sister and I went halves on Bo Rap [Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen], which cost 30p on seven-inch, from a record shop in Epsom. I’d heard it on Top of the Pops and I must have listened to it seven times a day.
The song I do at karaoke
I think I am a better singer than I actually am. I’ve made the tragic karaoke mistake of choosing The Winner Takes It All by Abba, which is fricking hard to sing. I’ll stick with I Love Rock’n’Roll by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, which is far more in my comfort zone. Or, if with my husband, Don’t You Want Me by the Human League – that went down well at my nephew’s wedding.
The song I inexplicably know every lyric to
I was in B&Q and found that I knew all the words to The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. I know a lot of words to 80s songs, but on that one I’m word perfect.
The best song to play at a party
I wouldn’t play Firestarter by the Prodigy at the neighbours’ Christmas drinks until at least 10pm. But Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles straddles all parties.
The song I secretly like
My husband and two daughters are rude about Coldplay, so I pretend to be the same. But Atlas, from the Hunger Games soundtrack, is definitely on my playlist.
The song I can no longer listen to
I didn’t pass my driving test until I was 30, and bought an old, powder-blue 1974 BMW. I had a CD player installed and would blast out Hey Boy Hey Girl by the Chemical Brothers, thinking I was cool. I’m not a cool person.
The best song to have sex to
Trans-Europe Express by Kraftwerk has a good beat.
The song that makes me cry
Born Slippy (Nuxx) by Underworld takes me back to the 1996 Edinburgh festival, hanging out with my beloved comedy partner Perks [Sue Perkins], cutting shapes on the dancefloor, not giving a toss about what we looked like. It makes me cry because I’m nearly 57.
The song I’d like played at my funeral
The whole of the Jesus Christ Superstar album, especially Heaven on Their Minds, the one with the amazing bassline.
Mel Giedroyc hosts the podcast Where There’s a Will, There’s a Wake.
